The Cats' Bill of Rights
1. Humans shall make no law respecting an establishment of boundariesor prohibiting the free exercise therein, or abridging the freedom ofaccess, or the right to peaceful assembly. In other words: The cat isentitled to go outside anytime s/he wants.
2. A well-carried provisional chamber, being necessary to thefulfillment of a feline's whims, shall not be infringed. In otherwords: The cat is entitled to EAT anytime s/he wants.
3. The right of the feline to be secure in their domain, and effects,against unreasonable discomposure, shall not be violated. In otherwords: The cat is entitled to SLEEP anytime s/he wants.
4. Humans shall issue no warrants or decrees or edicts as prescribedto the demarcation of possessions or property which are in directconflict with right of life, liberty, and the pursuit of felineaffirmation. In other words: The cat is entitled to sleep ANYWHEREs/he wants.
5. The feline shall be immune to all criminal accusations,indictments, and complaints. The accused shall enjoy the right to aspeedy and impartial dismissal of any and all charges provided saidfeline's compulsory right to obtain any or all witnesses, including character witnesses, are obtained in his favor. In other words: Catscan do anything they want as long as they're cute.
6. Neither serfdom, vassalage, or involuntary servitude will betolerated, except by said cats in proprietorship of their humans. Inother words: What I say goes. (And I can sleep on your face...)
7. No Canis familiaris shall, in time of peace or at any other time,be quartered in any dwelling without the consent of the potentate,nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by sovereign. Inother words: No dogs in the house without my permission.
8. The right of the feline to be protected against unreasonablesearch and seizures shall not be breached or infringed upon at anytime or any place. In other words: Don't disturb me when I am sleepingin a drawer.
Copyright 1999 by Mark Mason, All Rights Reserved. All Broadcast,publication, retransmission, copying or storage, including onCD-ROM, listservers, BBSs, WWW, "FTP" archives, or anywhere else, is prohibited without previous written permission. To subscribe, e-mail catdiary-subscribe@topica.com
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