EXPANDED CUMPLEET REDNECK CUMPUTER MEENINS
- 32 BIT RESOLUTION
- moshun to spend four dollars
- ADOBE PHOTOSHOP
- red bilding ware you git yur pictur took
- ALIAS
- name ya use at a motel
- ADDRESS
- clothes worn by women and J. Edgar Hoover
- ALTERNATE DRIVE
- a detour
- APPLE
- needed for pan dowdy and fritters
- APPLETS
- little apples or fritters
- APPLICATION
- put salve on yur skin
- ASCII
- wen ya raise yur hand to go to the restrom
- ASYNCHRONOUS TRANSMISSION
- wen yur truck needs fizin
- ATTACHMENT
- feeling close to yur dog or wife
- BACKUP
- (1) takin the truk outa the driveway
- (2) sleepin face down
- (3) whatcha do when you run across a skunk in the woods
- BACKUP DISC
- spare frisbie
- BANDWIDTH
- mens are larger on a watch
- BAR CODE
- fightn rules at the local tavern
- BAUD RATE
- hourly charge at the motel
- BINARY
- someone who likes both men an women
- BIT
- (1) a wager as in I bit ya can't spit that chawin tibacco acros theroad
- (2) two bits is twenty-five cents
- BROWSER
- fella reedin PLAYBOY in the drug store
- BUG
- (1) thing on phone to check yur wife's calls
- (2) reason to call in sick wen theres a ballgame
- BYTE
- wut them dang flys and muskitos do.
- C++
- superior grade in skool
- CABLE
- TV with ESPN and HBO
- CACHE
- needed when yur credit card maxs out and ya hav no food stamps
- CD ROM
- place in the bank ware they sell thos big notes
- CLONES
- (1) jobless fans of the jungle.
- (2) guys in circus in funny suits
- CHIP
- (1) animal droppins
- (2) munchies fer the TV
- CLIPBOARD
- place you keep yur ammo
- COBAL
- baseball game with men and gals at cumpany piknics
- CODE
- wen yu gotta snooty nose and coff
- CODING
- illegal drug that makes you high
- COOKIE
- snacks to keep the kids happy
- CRASH
- (1) wen yur truk hits a tree.
- (2) wen you go to Juniors party uninvited
- (3) wacha do wen yer too tired to do nuttin else
- CURSOR
- wucha do wen yur mad at yur wife
- CYBERSPACE
- war ya keep yur cider and six-packs
- DEBUGGER
- a roach motel
- DESKTOP
- place to keep yer homework
- DESKTOP PRINTING
- wen ya carve yur initials on yur skull desk
- DIGITAL
- (1) a questshun as digital furgit ta bring the beer
- (2) numbers on a alarm clock
- (3) art of countin on yur fingers
- DIGITAL CONTROL
- wut yur fingers do on the TV remote
- DIGITAL SIGNATURE
- fingerprints
- DISC OPERATING SYSTEM
- Wat the doc uses to fix yur floppy disc
- DISKETTE
- female disco dancer
- DOMAIN
- most importint as he's domain boss
- DOS
- (1) opposite of donts
- (2) opposite of deeze
- DOT MATRIX
- Tom Matrix's wife
- DOWNLOAD
- (1) gettin the farwood off the truk
- (2) to flush the john
- DOWNTIME
- period of depression
- DTP
- baby shots to pervent sickness
- DRIVE COMPATABILITY
- a long car ride with your wife without fightin
- not a sissy or weeklin
- EDIT
- wucha do with food
- ENCRYPTION
- what the undertaker duz to ya
- ENDORA
- Samanthas mother
- ENTER
- notherner talk fer cumin, ya all
- ETHERNET
- wut the doc puts on your face in surgery to make ya sleep
- EXPANSION SLOT
- extra hole in yur belt ya use wen ya overeat
- FAQ
- used with U, wut you yell when someone cuts ya off
- FAX
- wucha lie about to the IRS
- FILE
- wut yur wile uses on her nails
- FINGER
- wat ya gives a driver wat cuts ya off
- FIREWALL
- ware ya practises yur target shutin
- FLOPPY
- (1) Roscoe after sex
- (2) pancakes
- FLOPPY DISK
- (1) soggy pizza
- (2) wucha git from liftin too much farwood
- FONT
- discover as in I font it at a garage sale
- FORMAT
- small rug to wipe your feet on on a muddy day
- FORTAN
- (1) tells yur future, usually inside cookies at Chineseresterants
- (2) lots of money
- FRAME
- wen the cops bring ther own pot to yer party
- FREEZE
- releases from captivity as Superman freeze the hostiges
- GOPHER
- small animal that digs holes in yer lon
- HACKER
- granpa after 62 years of smokin
- HANDSHAKING
- granma with parkinsons
- HARDCODE
- wen the snoot in yer nose gets real dry
- HARD COPY
- pictur to look at when selecting tattoos
- HARD DRIVE
- gettin home in the muddy season with a flat tire
- HARDWARE
- (1) leather and spats
- (2) yer rifle and guns
- HEADER
- a game as in the braves are playin a dubble header
- HOMEPAGE
- place in the newspaper with houses for sale
- IBM
- anser wen teechur calls yur name
- ICON
- braggin as in icon lift yur truk with one arm
- INDEX
- what poker cards cum in
- INFRARED
- ware the leftovers go when Freds here
- INSTALL
- ware ya keep your horse
- INTERACTIVE
- run into the house
- INTERNET
- (1) wut the bait duz wen ya catch it
- (2) ware cafeteria workers put thar hair
- INTERNET EXPLORER
- a currous fish
- ITALIC
- furriner from Roam
- JAVA
- strong coffee
- JAVA APPLETS
- fritters for dunkin
- JAZZ DRIVE
- fancy new sports car
- JOYSTICK
- wat you open yur pants fur
- KEYBOARD
- ware ya hang yur truk keys
- LAN
- (1) to borrow as, Bert, lan me yur truk
- (2) the grass in fronta yur house
- LAPTOP
- ware the little kids jump on to sit
- LASER PRINTER
- fella too tired ta rite his ma
- LINK
- breakfast sausage
- LOG ON
- making a wood stove hotter
- LOG OFF
- takin the wood off the pile fur usin
- MAC
- yur kids favorite food
- MAIN FRAME
- wut holds up the barn roof
- MANUAL
- truk without automatic geers
- MEGABYTE
- wucha git from Meg durin luvmakin
- MEGAHERTZ
- (1) watcha git when yer not keerful gettin the farwood
- (2) yer head after 3 six-paks
- MEMORY
- watcha dont furgit
- MEMORY CARD
- used to cheat on tests
- MENU
- restarent list
- MICROCHIP
- wuts left in the munchie bag when the chips are gone
- MICROFICHE
- tiny fish used fur bait
- MICROPROCESSOR
- fine meat chopper fur making sausage
- MICROSOFT
- defrostin a TV dinner in the microwave
- MICROSOFT WINDOWS
- small plastic things on return envelopes
- MICROSOFT WORD
- whisper
- MIME
- belongs to me
- MODEM
- whacha do to the grass twisa yeer
- MONITOR
- teachur's helper at lunch
- MOTHERBOARD
- source of toothpicks
- MOTOR HOUSING
- a winnebago
- MOUSE
- fuzzy white thing wut eats the horses grain in the barn and yacan stuff in your beer bottle to get a free case
- MOUSE PAD
- where Mickey and Minnie live
- MULTICASTING
- two actors taking turns playing a part in a play
- MULTISYNC
- two washing areas in the same bathroom
- NETSCAPE NAVIGATOR
- leeder of fish eludin comershall fishermen
- NETWORK
- (1) ESPN, FOX, NBC
- (2) scoopin up a big fish befor it brakes the line
- NEWSGROUP
- wives gossippin
- NOVELL
- (1) a fictional book
- (2) a new way of doin sumthing
- ONLINE
- ware to stay when takin a sobriety test
- ORICLE
- (1) earlobe
- (2) a singin bird
- OVERWRITE
- what makes yur checks bounce
- PACKET
- wucha do to a suitcase before a trip
- PASSWORD
- fore, used wen playin golf
- PING
- noise the truk makes wen ya use cheep gas
- PIXEL
- small child or fairy
- PLOTTER PEN
- jail for conspirators and terrorists
- PLUG-IN
- push the end ot the TV cord into the wall
- POP
- (1) Dad
- (2) coke or pepsi
- POP SERVER
- Mom
- PORT
- fancy wine
- PRINTER
- fella who can't rite in handritin
- PRINTOUT
- wen ya uz a eraser or whiteout to currect a misteak
- PROGRAM
- wuts on the TV when there's receptshun
- PROGRAMMER
- fella with the TV remote
- PROMPT
- wucha wish the mail was in mud season
- PROXY SERVER
- sappini deliverer wen ya cant do it yurself
- QUEUE
- (1) idea as in she hasnt got a queue
- (2) stick used to hit poolball
- RAID
- (1) roach motel
- (2) wen the cops crash yur party
- RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY
- wen ya cant member wen yer wife asks ware ya wereand who you wer with
- REAL TIME
- on TV live, not delayed
- REBOOT
- wucha do wen ya step in horse manuer
- RELOAD
- fill the frig with 6-pacs and chips
- (2) wacha do after usin yer guns
- RAM
- (1) lambs daddy
- (2) whacha do to a car goin too slow on the hiway
- RAM CHIP
- male sheep droppins
- ROM
- (1) the jungle pimp-in-the-box
- (2) the Popes home
- (3) good to drink with Coca Cola.
- SCANNER
- watchin a female disco dancer
- SCREEN
- thing to keep the flies out
- SCSI
- what you call your week old underware
- SECURITY
- (1) bank guard
- (2) why yer gal wants to get hitched
- (3) wat the bank keeps until ya pays back the lone
- SERIAL PORT
- breakfast wine
- SERVER
- gal in resterant that brings yur food
- SHAREWARE
- wen ya use yur rummates clothes
- SHELL ACCOUNT
- gas station credit card
- SOFTWARE
- (1) them plastic eatin utensils ya git at MacDonalds
- (2) yer gals cashmire sweater
- SPAM
- meat for special occashuns
- SPREADSHEET
- wat ya put on the table for thanksgivin dinner
- STATIONARY
- not movin as most wives in bed
- SUPERCONDUCTORS
- (1) Glenn Miller, Doc Severnsen, Lawrence Welk
- (2) ticket takers on the express train
- SUPPORT
- (1) drink fancy wine slowly
- (2) wat bras do
- (3) wat ya hav to giv yur ex fur the kids
- TERMINAL
- time to call the undertaker
- TEXT
- dude from Dallas
- TOKEN RING
- wat ya usta git on the merry-go-round to git a free ride
- UPDATE
- wen ya rite a check so it cant be used until next month
- UPGRADE
- (1) when teechur changes an F to a D
- (2) skule term fur permoshun as upgrade to 2nd after jus 2 yers in 1st
- UNZIP
- open yur pants
- USENET
- wat ya do wen ya bring in a big fish
- URL
- wat ya dont want the doc to say at yer yeerly exam
- VECTOR
- winner of the fite or race
- VERSION
- wucha dislike as in he has a version to broccoli
- VIRUS
- same as a code but wurse
- WEBMASTER
- female spider
- WEBSITE
- ware spiders catch flies
- WINDOW
- place in a truk to hang your guns
- WINDOWS
- wucha shut when its 30 below
- WORM
- (1) wacha put on a fish hook
- (2) watcha use a blanket to get
- ZIP DRIVE
- goin fast at NASCAR
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