THE REDNECK DICTIONARY OF MEDICAL TERMS
- Benign..........................What you be after you be eight.
- Artery..........................The study of paintings.
- Bacteria........................Back door to cafeteria.
- Barium..........................What doctors do when patients die.
- Cesarean Section................A neighborhood in Rome.
- CTscan..........................Searching for kitty.
- Cauterize.......................Made eye contact with her.
- Colic...........................A sheep dog.
- Coma............................A punctuation mark.
- D & C...........................Where Washington is.
- Dilate..........................To live long.
- Enema...........................Not a friend.
- Fester..........................Quicker than someone else.
- Fibula..........................A small lie.
- Genital.........................Non-Jewish person.
- G.I. Series.....................World Series of military baseball.
- Hangnail........................What you hang your coat on.
- Impotent........................Distinguished, well known.
- Labor Pain......................Getting hurt at work.
- Medical Staff...................A Doctor's cane.
- Morbid..........................A higher offer than I bid.
- Nitrates........................Cheaper than day rates.
- Node............................I knew it.
- Outpatient......................A person who has fainted.
- Pap Smear.......................A fatherhood test.
- Pelvis..........................Second cousin to Elvis.
- Post Operative..................A letter carrier.
- Recovery Room...................Place to do upholstery.
- Rectum..........................Damn near killed him.
- Secretion.......................Hiding something.
- Seizure.........................Roman emperor.
- Tablet..........................A small table.
- Terminal Illness................Getting sick at the airport.
- Tumor...........................More than one.
- Urine...........................Opposite of you're out.
- Varicose........................Near by/close by.
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