Darwin Award Nominees for 1997
It is once again time to vote for the Darwin Award nominees for 1997.As you know these nominees will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully). You may recall last year's Darwin Award winner: The man who found out moments before making a 300 MPH dent in an Arizona cliff that the JATO (jet assist take off) rocket he'd strapped to his car could not be turned off once it was turned on.... the 1997 nominees are:
- NOMINEE #1 [San Jose Mercury News]
- An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a formergirlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gundischarged, blowing a hole in his gut.
- NOMINEE #2 [Kalamazoo Gazette, 4-1-95]
- James Burns, 34, of Alamo,Mich., was killed in March as he was trying torepair what police described as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friendto drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that hecould ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caughton something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in thedrive shaft."
- NOMINEE #3 [Hickory Daily Record 12/21/92]
- Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in Decemberin Newton, N.C., when, awakening to the sound of a ringing telephonebeside his bed, he reached forthe phone but grabbed instead aSmith&Wesson .38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
- NOMINEE #4 [UPI, Toronto]
- Police said a lawyer demonstrating thesafety of windows in a downtownToronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged24 floors to his death. A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion BankTower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of thebuilding's windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously hadconducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports.Peter Lawyers, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told theToronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest"members of the 200-man association.
- NOMINEE #5 [Bloomburg News Service, 25 March]
- A terrible diet and room with no ventilation are being blamed for thedeath of a man who was killed by his own gas. There was no mark on hisbody but autopsy showed large amounts of methane gas in his system. Hisdiet had consisted primarily of beans and cabbage (and a couple of otherthings). It was just the right combination of foods. It appears thatthe man died in his sleep from breathing the poisonous cloud that washanging over his bed. Had he been outside or had his windows beenopened, it wouldn't have been fatal. But the man was shut up in hisnear airtight bedroom. According to the article, "He was a big man witha huge capacity for creating "this deadly gas." Three of the rescuersgot sick and one was hospitalized.
- NOMINEE #6 [1/29/96 The News of the weird.]
- Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously in 1989. Hehad spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on amurder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison.In March 1989,sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting tofix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
- NOMINEE #7["The Indianapolis Star", Wed., Dec. 4, 1996].
- Cigarette lighter may have triggered fatal explosion Dunkirk, Indiana. AJay County man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of amuzzle loader was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in hisface, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in hisparents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m. Investigators said Pryorwas cleaning a .54-caliber muzzleloader that had not been firingproperly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when thegunpowder ignited.
- NOMINEE #8 [AP, St. Louis]
- Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louismarket. When the clerk threatened to call police, Puelo grabbed a hotdog, shoved it in his mouth, and walked out without paying for it.Police found him unconscious in front of the store: paramedics removedthe six-inch wiener from his throat, where it had choked him to death.
- NOMINEE #9 [Unknown]
- To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above him on anoverhanging rock-and was killed instantly when it fell on him.
- NOMINEE #10 [Associated Press, Kincaid, W. VA]
- Blasting Cap Explodes in Man's Mouth at Party. A man at a party poppeda blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion thatblew off his lips, teeth and tongue, state police said Wednesday. JerryStromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during a partylate Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D.Payne. 'Another man had it in anaquarium,hooked to a battery, and was trying to explode it," Paynesaid. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, 'I'll show you how to setit off. "
- AND FINALLY, NOMINEE #11!!! [Arkansas Democrat Gazette], July 25, 1996:
- Two local men were seriously injured when their pick-up truck left theroad and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 earlyMonday morning. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported theaccident shortly aftermidnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arcand Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in seriouscondition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the twomen were returning to Des Arc after a frog gigging trip. On an overcastSunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The twomen concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck hadburned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticedthat the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fusebox next to the steering wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet, theheadlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded oneast-bound toward the White River bridge. After travelingapproximately twenty miles and just before crossing the river, thebullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the righttesticle. The vehicle swerved sharply to the right exiting the pavementand striking a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions fromthe accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained abroken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't onthat bridge when Thurston shot his _____ off or we might both be dead"stated Wallis. "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of theworld, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how thisaccident happened", said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife asked how manyfrogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck.
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